One of the biggest reasons couples get into fights is because we are assuming the person is intentionally “misbehaving” or that they have ill intent. That they don’t care.
We can shift issues very quickly if we shift this mindset 👉 My partner meant to hurt me. To this 👉
My partner didn’t mean to hurt me. They are doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are doing what is in alignment for them.
These questions below could completely change every issue with your partner. I invite you to tune into them before communicating when there is a problem 👉
How can I express my pain without blame or making them wrong? How can I see where they are coming from? How can I get into my heart when I am expressing myself? How can I share what I am going through and take FULL responsibility for how I am feeling? How can I get into my heart when expressing myself? How can I be more vulnerable?
When you communicate from vulnerability and love it creates the space for your partner to actually meet you. When we stop blaming, shaming and making others wrong, we stop the fight cycle. Because your partner won’t feel the need to defend, there is space for them to be there the way you are needing. When we take a deeper look we will find It is usuallly our inner child who is longing to feel seen, loved or appreciated. That is usually the root of issue. It is NEVER about the story but what is underneath the story.
This takes deep introspective work. This takes you taking the time to go within and to let go of all blame and explore what you are actually feeling. There may be old pains and traumas you will need to feel and heal and that is GOOD. The more clear you can be from your past the more you will be truly present and authentic with your partner in the NOW. That is true relating.
I invite you to take a dive into the opportunity to clear and remember the truth of who you are.
If you’d like to go deeper and create lasting change in your relationship let’s work together.