Let’s talk about love and how parental relationships play a huge role in our partnerships. We are often unconsciously attracted to patterns that reflected the kind of love our parents gave us because it is familiar to us.
I’ll share a little about what I have experienced. My Father was a severe alcoholic. He started drinking heavily when I was in the womb. To my Mother’s defense, my Mom met my Dad in a Buddhist community and they conceived me on the first date. With that said, my Mom and Dad never truly knew one another. Since I was 4 years old my Father was either homeless living on the streets or in a sober living home.
Did I attract severe addicts like my Dad? I attracted highly functioning, emotionally unavailable men who could never fully show up or commit. Who were “Too sick” to fully be there or communicate without severe wounding. I constantly felt as though I was too much emotionally or not enough for the person to stay with me. I have spent the last few years really looking at myself, healing, looking at those mirrors and how I could actually become who I need to be to attract an amazing person.
I have had to look at my self-worth. I have had to look at how a father could not be there for their child. As I have gone deeper and deeper into those intense traumas and pains I have learned many things 👉
🦋My father was ill. In fact, quite sick mentally. He did not have the tools to get the help he needed. He was not able to be there for himself. How in the hell would he be able to be there for me?
🦋My fathers illness has nothing to do with me. In fact, it was a huge proponent in diving deep into myself and seeing who I truly am at my core and what I am truly capable of.
🦋My worth has nothing to do with someone else’s inability to be there the way I deserve.
🦋Even though I did not learn how to receive healthy love from the masculine, it does not mean it is not possible. I have had to dive deep into myself to heal these pains, wounds and traumas and allow myself to expand to what is possible - Healthy, present, emotionally balanced, loving men do exist.